Are we in a gay sports bar?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
