Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
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she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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