I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
