apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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