hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
