Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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