You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
