you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
