38 yer olds are good kisserssss
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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