Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
