I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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