Non-Jews are for practice
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
