he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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