omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Your cock deserves a montage
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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