I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
