why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
