Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
