just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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