i just google imaged poop.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
