Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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