I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize