Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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