You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize