dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
