Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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