Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
