Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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