Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
