my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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