i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
