i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
