Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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