so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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