it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
