it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
