____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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