it hurts more in the daytime
Small penises have feelings too.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
