Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm just crazy horny about you
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
