And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
