Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
