Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
