smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize