i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
