Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
