I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
