Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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