the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
