Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
