she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
