I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
