Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
