So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You were trust falling into bushes
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
