Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
