wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
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What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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