girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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