Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.

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(540): View more from Virginia

ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.

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(916): View more from California

He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics

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(253): View more from Washington

You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome

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(410): View more from Maryland

I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?

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(702): View more from Nevada

All she said was "Do me by Friday."

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