that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
