At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
