Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
