if i can run in heels then i can drive
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
