Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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