Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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