How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
