Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
